HitlerCities - Changing your way of thinking 
HitlerCities is proud to provide what is claimed to be a 'free' home page and email service at the expense of our members, sitting back on comfy chairs while their sweat & toil brings in advertising money. Please visit one or more of our moneymakers today. 

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 Featured Neighbor Program 
  • The Featured Neighbor program is designed so that the most compliant and most productive members of our content-creation department (e.g. our members) can be determined. With this information, we can try to eke more 'good content' out of our 'good creators' while silently letting go of our less productive members or shuffling them into some dark corner of our neighborhood alleys. Featured Neighbors get priority placement on our Avenues, in front of all those other boring old homepages, because hey, they're the Best Of HitlerCities and will draw in oodles more advertising money than our lower-quality 'standard' pages. When you become a Featured Neighbor you get:
    • A shorter, vanity URL so you're easier to get to than our standard members, e.g. www.hitlercities.com/~Yourname instead of www.hitlercities.com/Members/TheirPages/Neighborhoods/Gulags/DeepDarkPit/4281/...
    • Priority placement on our HitlerAvenues, so people who inadvertently click too close to our Watermark are whisked away to your page
    • More Megabytes! So you can create more content, you good content creator you!, while preventing our standard members from getting too creative and watering down our Good Content with their mediocre spew of pages.
    • You get to place the Featured Neighbor logo on your page! That is, as long as it doesn't interfere with the Watermark, or the HitlerCities link-back, or the GeoThornInYourSide banner, or...
    • Great deals on HitlerStuff, including great T-shirts emblazoned with swastikas and the HitlerCities logo, 'Featured Neighbor' underwear, keychains, buttons, pins and more...
    • You get to lord it over your neighbors!
    • You get to tell all your friends you're a Featured Neighbor! Other, non-featured folk who try to do this will be sued for defamation/trademark infringement/false advertising and then get a visit from the GeoStapo.
    So, don't you want to try for Featured Neighbor?? 
    Your site must meet the following criteria before being considered for our Featured Neighbor Program: 
    • You must have a fullsize Watermark covering the entirety of your page
    • You must use the HitlerCities Logo Background as your page's background image
    • You must include a minimum of five (5) linkbacks to HitlerCities, not counting your fullscreen GeoThornInYourSide banner, CrashAds, Waterstain or any other "value-added Service" we spring on you
    • You must put in a good word and several 'plugs' for HitlerCities free pages and services on your pages
    • You must sign a Non-Criticism Agreement (NCA) stating that you will never, ever criticize HitlerCities, even if it is long after we delete you for failing to create any more Good Content like that which we hired you onto our FNP for, under penalty of fines, jail time and lawsuits...
    • You must tell your friends about how good HitlerCities is and get them to join (a quota will be mailed to you), and spam newsgroups with similar garbage. Your newsgroup duty will also include flaming anyone who criticises HitlerCities with that "It is a free service, jerky! What do you expect for free?!? You have NO right complaining!" crap, over and over again as many times as it takes to shut up these critics or at least make it so no one pays attention to them.
    • You must participate actively in one of our Neighborhood Watch programs (e.g. Community Cleanser or Trademark Enforcer) and report noncompliant sites via the Nark Form.
    • You must have GOOD CONTENT! Shitty, personal homepages will not be accepted. It must be something interestingly unique that will attract visitors/advertisers and really bring home the bacon!
    If you would like to be considered for Featured Neighbor, send a message to one of your neighborhood Teachers or Content Managers telling them you want to be a Featured Neighbor. They will review your site, and if it is really good (and other visitors rate your page well) it will be passed on to the Judging Committee who will either promote your page to the FNP (if it is really good) or delete it (if it is really bad). Several criteria are used to choose Featured Neighbors, mainly your hit-count and the rating visitors have given your page via the Rating tool that is included on every member's page via their GeoThornInYourSide banner. 
    So, prospective Featured Neighbor, good luck! We hope to see your advert...err, page in the FNP soon! 
    In closing, we appreciate your support of HitlerCities  and welcome you to the community. 

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