• I
  • You
  • My girlfriend
  • My ex-girlfriend
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  • My Dick
  • Other ______
   
   

 

  • can't 
  • won't 
  • shouldn't 
  • better 
  • better not 
  • didn't 
  • couldn't 
  • had to 
  • can 
  • may or may not 
  • would love to 
  • will never ever ever
  • will never ever ever again 
  • didn't/doesn't feel like 
  • coulda
  • woulda
  • shoulda
  • don't want to
  • take you to ______________ (Location)
  • do my homework 
  • do my lab report 
  • do my research paper 
  • loan you my Zip disc
  • scan your picture 
  • give you free software 
  • let you f*** around on my computer 'til 3 in the morning 
  • go to breakfast 
  • go to lunch 
  • go to dinner 
  • go to class _______ 
  • go to the computer lab 
  • go to the theater 
  • go to party _______ 
  • kick ______'s ass 
  • play []Starcraft []Quake []DOOM []007 [](other)____________  (check all that apply) 
  • screw my girlfriend 
  • screw YOUR girlfriend 
  • get your email 
  • write to ______ 
  • get laid 
  • throw ______(person) in the swimming pool 
  • get up
  • take the exam 
  • teach an old dog a new trick 
  • listen to your radio show 
  • give you laundry quarters 
  • share my beer 
  • let you use my ______ 
  • kick your ass 
  • Other ______
 
 
because

 
  • my car won't start.
  • I can't find my keys.
  • out of gas.
  • homework.
  • studying.
  • research paper.
  • the RA confiscated all of my beer!
  • it would get me in trouble with the police.
  • it would get me in trouble with the R.A.
  • it would get me in trouble with the University.
  • it would get me in trouble with the Feds.
  • she's nasty.
  • she's ugly.
  • she's got VD.
  • the scanner is out of order.
  • I have a test tomorrow.
  • You never said it was due today!
  • I'm spraying for termites.
  • it fell in the toilet.
  • I'm drunk.
  • I'm sober.
  • Geocities dleeted my account again.
  • I'm all out of condoms.
  • cold water makes it shrink.
  • the lab computer ate my Zip disk.
  • the administrator ate my Zip disk.
  • temporary insanity.
  • I'm saving all my energy for tonite's frat party.
  • some idiot broke it.
  • []the bank  []my loan shark  []the cops  []the FBI  []Bill Gates  []Some fruit pie from _________ is after me. (check all that apply)
  • you/he/she is a major fuck-off.
  • I'll get to it tomorrow.
  • the speakers are blown.
  • the alarm didn't go off.
  • I've had enough tequila already, thanks...
  • the guy next door was playing rap and I had to to go over and kick his ass.
  • because professor __________ is a BITCH.
  • I've got a headache.
  • that was a figure of speech!
  • I'm diving for muff.
  • Entropy.
  • she's way too fat.
  • somobody took all my laundry quarters!!
  • the Excuse-O-Matic was out of order.
  • you/he/she sounds too much like Alanis Morrosette ..whiny bitch...
  • you asked me for a ride yesterday, and the day before, and the day before...
  • I am morally opposed to Fort Wayne.
  • I was bored.
  • there was nothing better to do.
  • you/he/she is a  []moron  []asshole  []leech  []professor  []cop  []other _____________________.
  • you/he/she/it spends too much time in  []their room  []computer lab  []cafeteria  []hiding from drug dogs  []spanking it  []other ________________.
  • _____________ is busy pleasuring self.
  • it got lost.
  • it got stolen.
  • the dog ate it.
  • Other ______________________________.
 
Status:
  • Come in
  • Go away
  • F*** Off!
  • Whatever it is, the answer is NO
  • Back in a few mins.
  • Life sucks.
  • Life is good.
  • @ Class
  • @ Party
  • @ Cafeteria
  • @ Computer Lab
  • @ home for the weekend
  • Leave a message
  • Lay a finger on this message board and you die

Excuse-O-Matic
 by Bill Webb
http://cexx.org/snicker/