Have you gotten a ticket lately?  Did you know Tri-State was giving out parking tickets?  Now, I can remember back in the day when security would actually put a boot on my car until I promised not to park illegally again.  Then they would take it off and I'd go park in some other illegal spot.  Those were the days.  Now I've got some ticket and I'm supposed to go pay some lady "or else."  Or else what?  Are they going to call the Indiana BMV and figure out just whose name belongs to every license plate?  Maybe my plate is a Michigan plate.  Anyways, some guy heads the whole thing up by the name of Hack.  I have an idea, let's start giving parking tickets to cars even though we don't know whom the car belongs to.  Sounds like a great waste of time to me.  I have a better idea, let's make all the students at Tri-State register a vehicle for a parking sticker, whether they drive a car on campus or not.  Wow, this is all making some sense now, instead of wasting money on building new parking lots, we can issue as many parking stickers as we can and start charging the students for not being able to find a parking place.  I feel like I've had an epiphany.  Of course, on the other hand, I can just give the Hack program a fake license number and not put my sticker in my window.  That way, when they give me a parking ticket, I can throw it away.  No tracing my license plate number back to me.  No not letting me register because of unpaid parking tickets.  And what do they mean by revoking my driving privileges?  So they could maybe not let me park in marked Tri-State parking areas.  No wait, there are no marked Tri-State parking areas.  Well, I guess they could whine about it and waste a little more time and money trying to figure out just whom that ticket belongs to.  As a final thought, I suppose the Hack administration could have made some more parking spaces available instead of making more headaches. 

-P.
 

NAMED SCHOLARSHIP NONSENSE
Not bees, but still bumbling

Like many, I am the recipient of a TSU Named Scholarship—that's when some nice person decides to give you money for school, e.g. the Eric Cartman Fund—and sent back a nice thank-you letter, photograph, and completed survey, in accordance with the accompanying guidelines. I fully support giving these donors their due credit, although I'll grant that the "Guidelines" page was a bit condescending. 

Fast-forward to today, when I get an angry call from Student Services, asking—scratch that—demanding to know where my thank-you letter is. Huh? After I took all that time to write a heartfelt and appreciative letter (yes, hand-write; I can't go print out another copy), not to mention rustle up a non-compromising photo, Tri-State not only loses them but has the nerve to call my room and, in accusatory tones, proceed to harass me over their negligence. I have a better idea. Give me my donor's address and I'll send the materials myself—sans marketing survey, of course.
They want another letter. They want a head shot. They want me to answer a survey with stupid questions like "Why did you select Tri-State?"  And they want it by Friday. I want to tell Student Services to go pound sand. And that's exactly what I'll do. So much for free speech; by my current estimates, it just might cost about $4000 a year.

-T.
 

STUDENTS STILL CENSORED
RAs, Student Services demanding removal of publications
Letter From The Editor

Recently, a student we know was ordered to remove a parody of a recent (arguably propaganda-rich) Triangle article comparing Tri-State to several other Universities from his dorm door. The parody highlighted key phrases in the article, drawing parallels between Dr. Brooks’ “Master Plan” and the Plans of several of history’s most well-known dictators, including Stalin and Hitler. After several days of proudly displaying the original article with its hand-lettered revisions, the student was ordered by an RA—who in turn cited orders from higher up—to remove the article. Turning lemons to lemonade, the student filled the freshly-vacated door space with an open letter to TSU and a copy of the previous issue of The Rag. This, too, was ordered removed, not for its content, but due to an article several issues ago that the RA found offensive.

This year more and more students have been turning to their doors to voice statements of public opinion to their hallmates. During the second half of last year, Student Services mandated that items displayed in common areas such as stairwells, corkboards and lobbies be marked with a special “Approved by Student Services” stamp. Failure to obtain an approval stamp on published flyers can result in a substantial fine.

I am deeply concerned about the direction Tri-State is headed. Many of our editorial staff and guests remain anonymous, not out of simple cowardice, but out of fear of disciplinary sanctions from the University. This kind of thing may have been acceptable in grade school, but this is college—we are adults now. Students should not be forced to live in fear for having opinions and voicing them. We should not be made criminals for exercising the freedoms our forefathers paid so dearly for. 

Now that the battle for freedom has beaten a path to (literally) our front doors, where is a student left to turn? With the demise of WEAX and Student Services’ new “Stamp Of Approval” policy, not many outlets of student expression remain. A growing concern is that the continued stifling of dissenting voices will not silence them, but merely force the discussion elsewhere. Criticism of Tri-State and its policies could move from the campus (where a few students can read it) to other venues such as the Internet (where the whole world—including prospective students—can read it), or ultimately, to other Universities, where college students are treated like college students and not children.

Our censored friend’s unedited letter appears below.

“  It is a very sad day for Tri-State students, because the SS (Schudent Schervices) has just clamped down on our freedom of speech.  Not only are you not allowed to post things on "unapproved" surfaces, or on approved corkboards without the Nazi stamp, but now your doors are in danger as well. If you wish to put anything on your door, be prepared for a jackbooted überleutenant to "silence" you and all your thoughts for good. Apparently, offensive materials are not allowed on students’ doors.  Have you read the Nazi propaganda book (Student Handbook) you received from your Gestapo officer   (RA)?  Well look in page 25, at the "45. Room Personalization" paragraph.  Look at the boldly underlined section!  
  "Students who display obscene and/or offensive materials will  be asked to remove them.  Repeated offenders will be assessed a substantial fine.”
    This statement is really subjective.  If you are a good little Nazi, then you will be allowed to leave up your swastikas and Führer Brooks “Master Plan” materials.   If you speak out against injustice, and fascist control, they have the right to not only to “silence” you, but fine you into debtors prison!
    They have the power to decide what is “pure” and what is “evil.”  Yet the Gestapo will not tell the camp inmates what is acceptable and what is not.  Führer Brooks’ lackeys do not realize that they are breaking numbers six and seven of their own Student Bill of Rights (consult the Nazi Propaganda Book again (page 28)).  
    “6. The right to be treated with respect and dignity.” Other students better treat me right!  But, the SS can do as they please.  It is not respectful when a jackbooted thug forces me to change my living quarters on a whim.  But, if you believe in fascism, that is being respectful! 
    “7. The right to hold different views.”  As long as my views are not different from the SS, I can post them.  Otherwise, I visit the East for awhile.    I pose to the Führer Brooks dominated SS to do one thing, tell me what is offensive, and what is not, in an article in their propaganda print (AKA The Triangle).  Will his minions respond? ”

INDIAN-GIVERS
Tri-State financial aid a game of give-and-take

Date: Middle of September 2001

Wow, I'm getting a great return from Tri-State.  I got plenty of aid this year.  Now I can pay for my new computer and have a little extra to help pay for some pizza and beer this year.  Sounds good.  Can't wait till I get my check.

Date: Middle of October 2001

Great.  Tri-State wrote me a check and now I've got some money.  I don't have enough for a new computer because somebody in financial aid messed up my aid.  At least I've got some money for pizza and beer.  I can live with that.  I mean, I can still use my roommate's computer until next year when I can afford to buy one.

Date: Beginning of November 2001

What?  I owe Tri-State money!  First they said I was getting a big return.  Then they said they made a mistake and took some back.  I could deal with that, everybody makes mistakes.  After all, they have made some personnel changes at the financial aid office lately.  But now I've gone and spent my money on pizza and beer and they are telling me that I owe them money.  How can that be?  They made another mistake and now I have to pay for it.  At least I'm not as bad off as my roommate.  He sold his computer to pay off his debt to Tri-State.  They told him they would cancel his class otherwise.  Now I don't even have a computer to use.  I paid my debt off too, but only so I could get my transcript for when I transfer next semester.  I don't even want to know what else I'll have to deal with for the remainder of my years.

-P