Mark of the Beast
a complement to the GeoPop Page
WaterWhat?
Why does it suck?
Does Geocities give a s*** what I think
about it?
Does this matter to me if my site isn't on
Geocities?
So how the heck do I get rid of it?
Other Stuff
"He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and
slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that
no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the
beast or the number of his name." ...Revelations 13:16-17. |
Know thine enemy:
It looks like this ->
<- Study it well....
You're editing your lovely homepage. It's not just lovely. It's perfect.
A work of art. You wouldn't change it, no, not for the world. After putting
on your finishing touches, you give it a good-bye kiss and send it along
its merry way to your Geocities account.
> ftp.geocities.com -- File(s) received successfully.
Just for good measure, you browse to it, just to make sure it uploaded
correctly--after all, it is your best creative outlet in this repressive
world in which we live. If nothing else, you're there just to marvel again
at the beauty of your creation. That's when you see it...
Acck! What's that @#$% thing floating on top of my Geocities homepage!?!?!?!
you cry, suddenly acutely aware that all is not well in the happy land
of your pristine HTML.
And when I'm branded, this mark of shame...should I look down
disgraced or straight ahead, and know what you must face?
|
There is a fungus among us. If feeds. It grows. It consumes all, swallows
your artistic impression like a bitter pill and, like a jealous sibling,
must obstruct and steal your
spotlight, though it is your time to shine. It jumps, twitches, grabs your
visual field and demands to be seen. Now. And forever. It will not leave
you alone. Pester, pester, pester, it just won't go away! It tags along,
obfuscates your links and turns your hard work to nothing more than a shameless
promotion of GeoCities Corp, suckering more prospective webpage designers
into the same trap that has defiled your hard work in the first
place! Every day your site displays the watermark you are silently helping
GC do this to more and more hard-working webspinners just like you.
And once you have planted upon your site this logo over which you have
no control, you know how it goes...
You go to check your email, in eager anticipation of all the praise
and congrats you will receive about your wonderful homepage, as it is perfect
in every way. You begin downloading the first of several messages. All
righty, you think, they really love the site.
"Perhaps you're a little too enthusiastic about GeoCities.
A linkback, a graphic, a quick plug, is all well and good... but a scripted
floating logo?"
Umm...
"Whoa, man...why did you f*** up your site like that?"
Er, come again?
"Hey, I like your site and all, but could you please please
get rid of those Javascripts? They cause all sorts of [Netscape/MSIE] errors
and sometimes make my computer crash!"
Huh? I didn't put any javascript....
You have fallen victim to the mark of evil, that which has caused the
death of so many websites and will go on to bring about the death of many
more. Many of your viewers will be miffed at the horrid abomination that
covers your artistry and obstructs your links. Others will be turned off
by the slowdown the watermark's Java scripting will inflict upon their
computers, click away from your site and seek similar pages elsewhere.
Those that remain will mutter under their breath that you have sold out
and fallen in as a willing victim to commercial exploitation. "How much
are they paying you to display that logo, anyway?", they may wonder.
Livin' on command...you're shakin' lots of hands...you're kissin'
up and bleeding all your trust
|
You wonder just what sick, twisted individual came up with the idea
to brand you and your homepage (your "content", as they call it) as their
property. This thing is not just evil, it's much more evil than it need
be. It's big. It jerks, jumps, and fidgets like a hyperactive hamster on
cocaine. It stays onscreen no matter what, and won't take 'no' for an answer.
If you try to scroll it off-screen, it will just come back... in its unique,
mocking way.
For I am shadows and will follow you, whatever shame I
bring
|
So maybe you get ticked off and write a
letter of complaint to the adult children who run Geocities. Then you wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Tell me why, when I scream there's no reply...when I reach out,
there's nothing to find
|
Maybe you weren't expecting them to up and drop the watermark program
just by your suggestion, but the least they could do is send a reply!
Feeling disillusioned and downright Pissed Off, you fire off a letter
to one of their advertisers, thinking they may be concerned that the negative
Geo experience will be associated with their ads. Apparently, this time
somebody took notice. You get your reply immediately.
From: abuse@geocities.com (Abuse)
To: you@geocities.com (Dissident Homesteader
That Must Be Taken Care Of)
Subj: Home Page Deleted--Content violation |
Dear homesteader,
Thank you for your feedback regarding our property-branding program.
You do understand, however, that advertising is what is going to make us
filthy rich; unapproved opinions and any criticism of any GeoCities program
are bad for business and could ultimately mean us being a little bit less
rich, and will not be tolerated.
Our guidelines and member Terms Of Service (TOS) have been carefully
constructed to promote the free flowing exchange of dollars between
advertisers and GeoCities with little regard for anything or anyone
else, while at the same time maintaining our standard of mis/disinforming
the Internet community and the societies of the world at large.
GeoCities' political principle does not tolerate the development
of any opinions or ideas at variance with the will of the majority.
Any attempt to uphold different ideas will not be tolerated, as
the symptom of an illness which threatens the healthy unity of the state.
As such, your actions of sending unauthorized email to our Advertisers
are inconsistent with our Guidelines and/or TOS; your account
has been deleted, your name and profile have been added to our
ISP Blacklist and your mother has been stabbed. Perhaps you will think
more carefully about your actions in the future.
We encourage you to review the guidelines at:
http://www.geocities.com/members/guidelines/
Thank you,
GeoCities Advertiser Response Team
www.geocities.com |
What you failed to realise is that all advertisers are umbilically
tied to GeoCities by an anti-criticism contract, and are required to forward
any critic mail they receive to Geocities' legal department with all headers
attached, so that punitive actions can be taken against the sender. So
now all your files are gone, you're on Geo's shit list (just TRY reposting
your site on another FWP, and see how long it lasts!) and they have successfully
stolen your voice so that no-one may be dissuaded from joining Geocities
by anything you have to say.
Well, that's what you wanted anyway, right?
Another satisfied customer.
Hearing only what you want to hear...knowing only what you've
heard
|
Ha ha ha!!-- I'm Not On GeoCities!!!
You think your site is immune to this beast on another FWP, don't you?!?
Well, I wouldn't celebrate just yet. Ideas are like fancy hubcaps in the
inner city. Just park your Rolls-Royce in the middle of the ghetto and
see how long they stay yours. Fact is, when one company hits on something
that looks like it'll help them make money,
everybody and his brother will be trying to steal it. And, sad to say,
Geocities is big. Being practically the first FWP with any measure of success,
they are a trendsetter. Geo was the first to implement the pop-up
ad. Now just look how many FWPs use them.
The watermark is next.
"He also forced everyone, small and great, rich
and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his
forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which
is the name of the beast or the number of his name." ...Revelations 13:16-17. |
|
|
Want to voice your concern over the Watermark? You can copy the
above table into your own webpages with this source.
Killing the Beast
The same method of inserting a <NOSCRIPT>
tag at the end of your HTML files to get rid of Geopops
will also take care of the waterstain. Just don't get caught playing with
the stain or you might get a nasty letter from Geo in your email, and may
even have your account deleted for tampering.
Various other methods exist, including a number of Javascript tricks
and a creative use of frames, for hiding the stain that sullies your pages.
There is also a Javascript that will take care
of the Waterstain, Geoguide banners AND Geopops!...
Download the All-In-1 GeoAdKiller
script!
Right-click on the link above and choose Save Link As...
to download the all-in-1.js file that
will put these evil GeoAtrocities behind you. Installation is easy:
-
Unzip and upload the all-in-1.js file to your
GeoCities account.
-
Add the following tag somewhere in each page you want to cleanse of ugly
ads: <SCRIPT language="javascript" src="all-in-1.js"></SCRIPT>
-
That's it! Enjoy your stain-free webpages :)
Or, possibly the Best Solution Of All...
Some day somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say
goodbye...
|
F*** 'em--Leave!
Many FWPs are offering free, reliable Web space with different forms
of advertising, or even none at all! Some use altogether different business
models to keep their businesses afloat. Crosswinds.net
relies on the mutual good-naturedness of its admins and members to complement
its altruistic Web hosting offer, based more on giving rather than taking.
CyberCities makes the promise
that commercial ads will never appear on member pages. WorldZone
plans to go the advertising route, but promises to keep it simple
and put its members first. In any event, there are much better
places to live, with cheaper rent and better views, than the slum that
is GeoCities.
Other Stuff
(as long as you're here)
Getting rid of annoying, intrusive ads
(As well as the "AdForce Virus")
Internet
Junkbuster
-
Pros
Freeware :)
Very effective in blocking banners. Can also block cookies (and even
send a bogus/forged 'wafer' cookie for sites that require a cookie), prevent
your email address from being transmitted by older browsers, and obscure/forge
the referring URL (useful if you don't want the site to know where you
came from, or what advertiser to pay a referral fee to, etc.)
Most configurable (uses user-defined blocklists with regular-expression
matching--for example you can block any server with 'ad.' in its name,
such as ad.doubleclick.net)
-
Cons
More difficult to set-up than the other products (setup process, combined
with the lack of a GUI, may be daunting to newbie users)
Doesn't prevent Javascript-based pop-up ad
windows from being displayed (but will take the ad itself out of it)
@Guard
-
Pros
Easy set-up
Protects against some security holes in addition to blocking ads; functions
as a sort of personal firewall
Blocks cookies and referrers
Prevents browser-crashing pop-up windows from appearing
-
Cons
Shareware (costs you money if you want to continue using it)
Most expensive of products listed ($10 more than InterMute)
InterMute
-
Pros
Easy set-up
Prevents browser-crashing pop-up windows from appearing
Blocks cookies and referrers (?)
Can also block those annoying background MIDIs some people put on their
pages, as well as background images
-
Cons
Shareware (costs you money if you want to continue using it)
AdsOff!
-
Pros
Easy set-up
Automatically configured to block most ads
Single-click enable/disable
-
Cons
Shareware (costs you money if you want to continue using it)
Doesn't allow you to block specific ad-belching domains (eg. ad.doubleclick.net)
Support The Cause with these button graphics
Put one on your website! Link them to http://webbsite.cjb.net
if you want, or the download page of your favourite ad-blocker :)
Nomenclature (Again, this information
is provided only for completeness)
Names collected from newsgroups, Forums posts, etc.--What to call
a watermark:
Waterstain
Pissmark
Piddlemark
Cattlebrand
Cattletag
Floater
Mark of the Beast (or Beastmark)
Piddlestain
Urinemark
A Reason For Leaving :)
GreedyMark (see also: GreedyPops, GreedyGuide)
Pinkie (probably an obscure reference to spam)
Crapstain
Soggymark
Two Hands In My Pockets (covering my cheeks):
Please note: The intent of this page is to express an opinion
in a humorous and satirical manner. Expressing an opinion in a humorous
and satirical manner (or any other manner, for that matter) is fully legal
and protected by the 1st Amendment of the US Constitution. GeoCities is
a trademark, servicemark, and/or WATERMARK
of GeoCities Corp. Please see Page o' Disclaimers
for even more fun.
The author of this page does not personally advocate
sabotaging anything or anyone; information on how to disable advertising
is provided, for completeness, for those who wish to implement it.
(Although personally I don't see disabling ads as 'sabotage' so much as
'reasonable self-defense'...)