If you are interested in advertising on CEXX.ORG, please do the following:
Cut a strip of aluminum foil about 3 inches wide by 24 inches long. Fold it in half along the short edge, forming a piece 12 inches long. Fold again in the same manner, twice more; then fold lengthwise. Now put the whole thing in your mouth and chew vigorously (fillings and/or braces help complete the effect). This approximates the sensation I get everytime someone mails me offering to "monetize my traffic flow", "start a marketing synergy", join their affiliate program, et cetera. Same goes for various companies of unknown repute offering "donations" in exchange for product placement, or asking what our pop-up advertising rates are, or inquring if we would be amenable to shameless promotion of a product nobody in their self-respecting minds would support. Or even theoretically very good products. I don't care. The point is, to anyone looking to waste my time with these sort of mails, I invite you to look around on this page for a moment. Count how many things are blinking loudly at you, are warning you that (gasp!) your computer is broadcasting an IP address (or your house is broadcasting a street address), or inviting you to punch a monkey in the face and win a prize*. Count the number of paid advertisements cleverly disguised as content or personal recommendations...or paid advertisements in general, for that matter. Count the number of seedy companies that we are beholden to. (Hint: We comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act. You can count these occurrences on your fingers, and reach the same result whether you have fingers or not.)

Hopefully, you have taken a subtle hint by now. For those who insist on pestering me with such offers anyway, okay, you win. In reality, despite all my talk about how I can't stand advertising and won't soil my pages with marketing trash, every man has his price. So without further yap-flap, I present to you...

CEXX.ORG Advertising Rates - effective 2004/10/01

• Yes! We do popups:$ 1 Million USD per impression.
• Yes! We do banners! $100,000 USD per impression.
• Yes! We do affiliate links. Affilite links will be placed in emails I send myself from home to work, or vice versa, to send myself datasheets, remind myself to eat, etc. Proceeds will go to the Buy Me A Beer Foundation.
• Yes! We do "contextual marketing". Your scrotum is an ideal context for this type of marketing message (bring anesthetic).
• Yes! We do drive-by downloads! One fresh kidney (or 2 undamaged livers) per qualified install. Proceeds will be donated to compatible organ transplantees, or fed to the hogs, at our option. (Drinkers' livers need not apply. This includes benefactors of the Buy Me a Beer Foundation.)
  

....getting the hint yet?