Written by: X686 < >

Created Mar 16 2000, modified Mar 16 2000

Intro

Maybe you have heard of the "for kids only" browser SurfMonkey.  I heard of it
once while surfing the Internet. The phrase "It Reads Your E-mail" caught my
eye. I asked for them to send me one by snail-mail(the postal service). Within 2
weeks I got the CD-ROM. Excited, I went up the stairs and installed it. I found
out the scam.

E-mail Service

SurfMonkey lets you have an @surfmonkey.com e-mail adress, IF you are a
SurfMonkey Club member, which I will be discussing later. Turns out, you can't
program it to read your own POP3 or IMAP e-mail adress, and you can't swear
either. You can only send e-mail to people at your parents approval. It has also
the option to block e-mail from web-based e-mail services. If you make
SurfMonkey read it to you, it will say each swear word as "number number number
number".

Lame Characters

Surfmonkey, the main character, has a boring warped voice. Cybot, the robot that
catches you when you are doing anything inapropiate, lacks originality.

SurfMonkey Club

SurfMonkey will sometimes(sometimes? I mean, all the time!)  remind you to
subscribe to SurfMonkey Club, a service that will let you use the e-mail
service, chat, etc. It will also let your parents decide what you can't or can
do. The price is outrageous.

SurfWatch in SurfMonkey

SurfMonkey has SurfWatch; each time you visit a forbidden website an asshole
robot called Cybot shows up and says some crap. It is hard to disable
SurfMonkey's Surfwatch, the regular methods don't work. I have been poking
around the SurfMonkey directory and found no reference to SurfWatch or any
files.

Lack of Features

Yes, many kids don't copy the location of an image or want to see the source
code of a page, but there are some computer nerds out there who are. I was mad I
couldn't open a HTML file on my hard disk.

Chat

You can only chat(Micro$oft Chat is used) if you are member of the club. 'Nuff
said. HOWEVER, you do not need SurfMonkeySpanker to use Chat. Just access chat
from the start menu(bring it up by pressing Control-Esc.

Sponsors

SurfMonkey has a sidebar with a bunch of sponsor's logos. If you look around
closely in the SurfMonkey folder(it's usually C:\Program Files\SurfMonkey) you
might be able to change them by your own.

The SurfMonkey bar: pocket greed.

The SurfMonkey bar is a miniature bar that does the usual: block inappropiate
language and block inappropiate websites. You can also take snapshots of your
favorite websites, blah, blah, blah. It is controlled by a password.

How to disable

SurfMonkey:  If your parents are going to force you to use this program to
browse the internet and not Netscape or Micro$oft IE, then, my friend, I'm
sorry. However you can disable it:
--None yet. If you have found any method to disable SurfWatch in SurfMonkey,
tell Bill and he'll be glad to post it here.--

MonkeyBar: I have tried to download this file, but my computer always freezes in
the installation screen. When I manage to install it, I'll post it here.

Links

http://kids.surfmonkey.com/free_trial/sub_free.asp -visit if you are demented or
if you want to do a little research with the software.