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Disinformation, Censorship and Media Control
The media is a very powerful tool. Any form of communication, be it voice, text, images, hand signals, semaphore, etc. is inherently evil and must be carefully monitored and controlled by HitlerCities for the better good of all. That's why we have invested so much of our time and effort into controlling, restricting and censoring the world at large to prevent good samaritans, soothsayers, disgruntled ex members, lawyers, etc. from informing the public about anything that really goes on here at HitlerCities.
Our Members are very impressionable and consequently an effort must be made to present them with an image of HitlerCities that is beneficial to their opinion of us and fosters willingness to work for us efficiently, and a desire to aid our moneymaking schemes and remain in compliance with our Guidelines and disinformation policy. In any event, our members must NOT be presented with a raw or unfiltered view of the truth. This would be harmful to our profit margin. I mean let's face it, if these folks knew half of what evil we're up to, they'd be runnin' outta here so goddam fast...
Our Advertisers must similarly be spoon-fed what we feel would be appropriate for them to know about us. Advertisers must see HitlerCities as a benevolent place which fosters creativity and positive feelings about anything on it (read: Advertisements), and not as a place that it would be a bad idea for them to advertise on. For example, no marketer wants to have their products associated with a fascist society such as this one, so nobody must let on to them that HitlerCities is anything other than what we would prefer that they believe.
In keeping with these media-control needs, HitlerCities employs several forces to keep tabs on the media, squelch criticism, and censor anything that casts HitlerCities in an unfavorable light. These needs are filled internally by our Community Cleansers and Content Managers, and externally by our GeoStapo, Trademark Enforcers, GeoCensors and accompanying SWAT Team.
Community Cleansers and Content Managers
Community Cleansers and Content Managers (also referred to as the Reich Chamber of Culture) are set up to supervise 'all forms of artistic activity which are made public.' Community Cleansers are volunteer narks that squeal on critics within HitlerCities via our Nark Form. While it is volunteer work, our most productive Cleansers will profit from commissions or be offered a job. Content Managers are paid employees of the HitlerCities Cubicle Community and are equipped with special tools such as keyword-searching of our Homesteads for unapproved material that may impede the profitability of HitlerCities or any of its advertisers.
GeoStapo are external media watchdogs that monitor the Web, actively searching out and threatening, harassing and using various intimidation and torture tactics on, any critic of HitlerCities. GeoStapo Armed Guardians come to critics' houses heavily armed, and merely suggest that the person discontinue their practice of criticizing HitlerCities. If they do not comply, mere threats may not suffice.
HitlerCities Trademark Enforcers
Trademark Enforcers crawl the Web like GeoStapo, actively searching out HitlerCities criticism and facts that, if known to the public, may adversely affect HitlerCities' profitability. They search through nevada.geocities.com, our high-powered Secret Server located in Area 51 near Groom Lake. If anyone on any server is found to be using the HitlerCities name in a way inconsistent with our TOS and/or Disinfo Policy, they will be sued for trademark infringement. If they cannot be had for trademark infringement right away, we will trademark something on the site behind the creator's back and then sue to get it removed (and make some cash on the side...)
GeoCensors save themselves a lot of the hassle of Trademark Enforcers by bypassing the critics and attacking their Webmasters directly. Using the same tactics as GeoStapo and TE's they get the offending site nuked. GeoCensors also have the duty of reporting the freshly-killed URLs to search engines to have the censored URL and accompanying synopsis dropped from the listings immediately, so nobody will know it has been censored.
The SWAT Team
The HitlerCities SWAT Team shows up at the houses of noncompliant critics and Webmasters, drags them out and terminates them to prevent the State (hitlercities.com) from being adversely affected by their actions. They may be executed on the street, tortured to death, gatted with a tommygun, drowned, thrown from a cliff, poisoned, or forced to listen to a Spice Girls CD in its entirety until they agree to commit suicide.
While preventing leaks to and from the outside world, HitlerCities keeps its members up-to-date with a spin-doctored publication called the World Report. Its purpose is to spoon-feed the members what they want to hear and what we feel they should hear, while sheltering them from the many truths it would not be in our best interests for them to know.